One of my New Years resolutions was to eliminate people from my life who didn’t make me happy. This ranged from, friends, family and even friends who are associated with people I don’t like. This year it’s time to make myself happy and not others. If you were to ask anyone who knows me personally, they would tell you that I’m always there for people when they need someone. I will always be a shoulder to cry on and listening ears to vent to. I loved to take away peoples pain, and in the end, I was only hurting myself. So for today’s blog post, it’s kind of a revamped version of a post I wrote last summer, but have since deleted it out of fear of judgment.
Dear Ex-Best Friends
We’re no longer friends because it was no longer good for my mental health. Yes, you were a great person to turn too and you would usually listen to my issues. But you know what, there’s more to a friendship then that. We used to talk everyday, we would laugh and giggle about the most stupidest shit! You would tell me what was going on in your life, how your day was and you would vent to me too.
Eventually I noticed, you stopped messaging me first, you stopped telling me about your day, or your customers you had. You wouldn’t share funny stories or laugh at my videos anymore. I barley got a response from you sometimes. I literally felt like I was trying to fit into your life and you no longer cared about mine. I know I did complain a lot about the same crap, but was I not okay enough as a person for you to share your life with anymore??
I felt like you let me go as a friend before I let go of you. I tried so hard for so many months just to try to keep my place in your life. The facebook likes, shares, instagram tags and likes eventually came to a stop too. You know this same person I “annoyed” you with always complaining about to you..? Yea they were right when they tried to tell me who you truly were. You know this too because that was something I would complain about A LOT and THANKED YOU for being my bestfriend……
You knew so much about me… It was a long time coming, I tried for so long and it just wasn’t worth my energy anymore. You always told me how M and myself deserve the best and happiness…. well trying to find a spot in your life was draining on top of these life issues I would tell you about. I’d message you about my problems and I was LUCKY if I got a response the same day….
This holiday season showed me a lot about my worth and what true friendship means. You live so close and are always in the same town…. but I had out of town friends, go out of their way to come and visit M, Momma and myself over the Christmas Holidays….. You said you would… but I’m not sure why I was surprised when you never showed…. Then New Years came, you showed up where you knew I was suppose to be…. I never heard from you….. It’s okay thou, I had the best New Years Eve I could ever ask for with M.
As I said goodbye to 2018, I say goodbye to trying.. I wish you all the best in life where ever it may take you. I’ll still be cheering you on in the background and proud of your every accomplishment but for now all I have left is the memories. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the ‘whole’ friend you were looking for anymore.
Sincerely, your ex-best friend….