Who am I?
Thanks for joining me on this crazy journey!
I am a 22 year old mommy to a beautiful boy. After graduating high school I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life. I attempted two different courses thought Mohawk College and couldn’t find the time or motivation to finish either program. About a year ago I found out I was pregnant while working for a cleaning lady for $15 an hour, while watching her charge $40 an hour for my hard work.
I decided that when my mat leave was over that I wanted to start my own cleaning business. While I sit at home raising my bundle of joy, I decided to take my thoughts and ideas and put them into actual words. So here we are!
To give you a little bit of history about myself;
When I was 9 my parents got divorced and I had stayed with my father in Hamilton. Growing up my father always made my mother out to be the bad person. As we get older we learn that there’s two sides to every story. Anyways, my mother brought my step dad into my life. Don’t get me wrong he was a great guy in the eyes of a child, again as you get older there is two sides to every story.
In the May of my grade 8 year my dad had decided it was time to sell the house and move to grandma and grandpa’s. I graduated with the kids I had grown up with and within two short months I started high school in a new part of the city with a bunch of strangers. I never managed to fit in there and by march of grade 9 I had transferred highschools. Still complete strangers to me, I managed to find my place within the school.
By grade 11 I had started dating my high school crush. We were inseparable, like two peas in a pod. 4 years had passed of on and off again & our relationship turned into nothing but abuse.
2016 I made the choice to give myself a better life. I left everything behind in Hamilton; schooling, family and a full time job. The day I decided enough was enough, my abuser took his last shot at me. ‘Now or never’ right ….. No but that is how an abuser works.
10 months had passed and I met a great guy. We’d go everywhere together and do everything together. Another 10 months later, we found out that we would be blessed with the most amazing gift of life.
9 Months later, the journey with Malcolm begins. Enough about me,
When Malcolm was born we were admitted to the hospital. He was jaundice for no reason other then a simple mix in different blood types. I wanted NOTHING more then to just go home! We woke up the next morning all happy and excited to go home just when the doctors come in and give us the bad news!
He was put on a UV strip while we waited almost 7 hours for an incubator. See the issue was there wasn’t any available in the hospital, so they ordered one from McMasters Children’s Hospital. An ambulance went out with a patient around 1pm and it wasn’t till the night shift staff came on around 8pm that we got the real deal.
Daddy did an amazing job every night waking him up in the incubator every 3 hours to feed even when I didn’t want to wake up. I remember being so sad and thinking it was abuse to close him off in this sealed unit all by himself but the nurses, they assured me he would love it. They told me the babies think of it like a beach its all nice and warm in there. Sure enough, Malcolm LOVED it in there! He hated that he had to wear the mask the whole time he was inside but hey that was lesson #1 to life.
Malcolm was put in the incubator on Thursday night, when we woke up Friday morning I was begging the doctors and nurses that he would be better, and we could go home. Nope his blood levels weren’t getting any better and the devastation hit. I lost hope that he was going to be fine and that we were never going to be able to go home. As the day progressed and the visitors were coming and going, I really started going insane. I begged the nurse to let me go home to shower and see my cat. Friday night she let me leave while Nana stayed with Malcolm. Daddy returned back to the hospital after driving me home. As I’m in the shower feeling all nice and refreshed. (Loving the hot water after 9 long months) I come out of the shower to Daddy freaking out that they wanted to give our baby formula….
This momma lost it and threw all her stuff together that she needed and told Daddy to tell the nurses I was only around the corner, in reality, we were just leaving the driveway. I ran through the hospital with my bag, body pillow and in socks/sandals and my pjs yelling “don’t give my baby a bottle”. I got up to our room and Malcolm was still asleep not even ready to eat yet…
Saturday morning, we had a new nurse. She asked me how everything was going, and I didn’t hold back, I told her how I just wanted to take my baby home. She did morning blood test and still wasn’t good enough, but we were getting there. Grandpa came up to see us many times throughout everything. Right down to being told Saturday morning that we couldn’t go home yet.
The nurse came back after lunch time for another blood test. I told her don’t come back early if were still staying another night. After 45 minutes passed the door slowly started to open. I jumped up out of my bed and attacked the nurse! We were finally going home!!!!! I don’t even remember what she was telling me all I could remember was telling myself were FINALLY out of here!!
I was so worried about that dang incubator and stressing about how long it was taking to get to us! But with patient and hope we got there. After 3 and a half long stress filled days, we were finally aloud to come home!